these days, i must admit
i've been feeling lost, feeling empty.
not so much in the day,
for time flash by,
i get so busy,
i lose track of life.
yet at night,
when my mind slows down,
when i start thinking about everything,
oh boy i do miss you.
occasionally, when i pass by the lane we used to walk,
hand in hand,
laughter, pecks
we used to walk multiple rounds just so we could spend more time.
we used to talk about our future,
what we envisioned, the home we'll build together.
occasionally too, as my friends ask about us,
my heart aches as i have to blurt out our seperation
they dont get it,
me neither honestly.
truth to be told, i lied.
on that day you asked me if i stopped loving you,
i lied.
no i never stopped, i still do love you.
but i was a coward.
i wanted to run, i wanted to hide.
i wanted all my time for myself,
i wanted self-love.
i guess that's why i lied.
the getaway wasn't fun,
definitely just like what i imagined,
it was nightmare.
more so than occasionally,
your face right in my mind
those kid-like smile,
those dreamy eyes.
oh how much i want to send you a message
nothing much,
just want to encourage you, to hang in there.
but i guess you wouldn't like that
and i do understand why.
so in that corner of my heart, i do wish you'll find this post someday
and realise just how much i still love you,
just how much
i still care about you.
but
goodbye.
till the future, if we're meant to be.
