bliss

They asked me
are you fine.
I said yes.

They asked me
what's wrong.
I said nothing.

Then I wonder,
why do I exist.

It ain't that complicated,
I just need love.
I'm not unreasonable,
I'm just petrified.

When you held me,
when you leaned,
I felt at bliss.

But soon,
I wouldn't feel at ease.
What if,
what if.

I hope you'll understand,
even just a tiny bit.
And one day,
maybe you'll comfort me
as you hold me in your arms,
'I'm here, I'll always be.'

why

At times,
I'll like to believe,
that I'm genuinely happy,
as I laugh and shout,
just like the past me.

But soon, as they dispersed,
I'll start thinking.
As the day turns to night,
and my mind floods with everything,
the grin turns 180 degree.

I ask myself why,
why are you crying.
But even so,
I couldn't reply.
For it's not something,
but everything.

As I lay weeping,
thinking of all the things
I wanted to say and ask you,
all the things I could never admit,
and the delusional me,

I start to fear happiness,
and longed for sleep.
Not solely because I was tired physically and emotionally,
But more so,
for serenity.

I'll tell you

What if I told you,
that you aren't in love.

What if I told you,
that you had no chance.

What if I told you,
that you aren't getting happier,
but just got better at hiding sadness.

What if I told you,
that no matter how much you gave him,
you'll still be an option.

Then again,
What if I reminded you,
that you were just in love,
not with him,
but with the idea of being in love.

So I'll tell you again,
and again,
till you are sober from this trap.
that
the person who hurts you,
is the one who swore they never would.

And you're pretty funny,
because for that split second,
you actually thought
you had a chance.