my first june

i pray you find this one day

that you were searching up my name like i do for you

that you were wondering how i am

that you slept thinking about our what ifs

and that you dreamt the same heart wrenching scene 

we were 18 when i called it off 

this would keep me insane for the next 7 years

and going 

leaving you then is my biggest regret 

i searched high and low for your replicate,

but nobody could replace your presence 

i miss you

yet i know i don’t deserve you 

you are never coming back, 

and i religiously pray everyday to see you again

you said you forgave me,

then could we start over again?

i wish you find this letter 

and know how much i really want you back

7 times i wished you happy birthday in silence 

on the first sunshine in june 

7 times i celebrated our anniversary in sadness

on the 18th of january 

and many more times to come, i wish you could stop this

if i could turn back time 

i will go back to that day and show myself

how much that terrible decision will cost 

away with the dove

for who comes next 
will always be 
in your shadows
just another he

in his eyes i source your glow
in his touch i seek your warmth
if you returned would i go?
i might actually opt for the fourth

they say people seek similarity
but you defined familiarity
though i am starting to think
maybe we weren’t that much of a thing

how could i ever forget 
you were my first upset
farewell what i knew as love
our memories shall fly with the dove

i promise to treat him 
the way you did for me
for he brings a brand new gleam
somewhere im thankful to be

Super Far

first wrote me a letter
second cooked me a meal
third made me a hater

what about you?

so innocent and pure
told me you’re my cure
those eyes that lure
said we are for sure

but is it my past
making me ask
how true are you
or is all just a mask

your charm so endearing
mesmerising those peering
yet you never once reject
all the leering and nearing 

how i wish you knew
how uncertain i feel
how i might lose you
to anyone new

the claims of effort 
hidden unseen bare minimum
if this is love 
i don’t want it

愿

曾愿

像风 随它流浪  如云 洒脱飘扬

水珠 雪白浪花 光火 点亮幻想

那里

天地 忧伤封藏 山崩 闪崩自由 

初见 满怀激情 投影 相遇相爱  

可惜

你我 世间过往 光年 漫长夜晚

鱼儿 眼前忧伤 森林 冷漠哀叹

在这

石子 便是我命 原地 硬邦坐下

回响 已含遗憾  翅膀 幻想繁华

最终

像风 孤独流浪  如云 飘入尘埃

水珠 哗啦丧气 光火 凶猛破坏

这里

天地 忧伤满面 山崩 闪崩倒塌 

初见 命运捉弄 投影 星球泪滴

只愿

我们的相遇 停留在梦里

远离了悲伤 任由我回想

万年落花 万物苏醒

天地雷鸣 天意迎接

降临眼帘 竟如初梦

是你

何时遇见 何方相逢

心怡心念 心已累垮 

 

our summer story

and if they ask me 

what’s keeping you up at night?

i’ll have no names to spill

what’s making you ponder in silence?

i’ll have no thoughts to share

what’s making you feel?

i’ll have no sorrows to pour

what’s keeping you going through the day?

i’ll have no vision to say

but i’ll watch the sun set

oh goes one more day

where the times we once shared

stays as memories i have

23

been too long since

where are we now

are we still asking how

or do we finally have it figured out

completed a milestone,

started on what they say ‘you’ve grown’

but have i really figured it out

i can say with certainty, no

it is just not in me yet

the courage to be

instead of contend

the peace to settle and be content

while trying to succeed

i fell to my defeat

the hurdle i fear 

shall trip me at my feet

where do i go now

the uncharted dream

or the departed gleam

just like before, im a bleak

twenty three, a beautiful riddle

sadly we’re no longer cradled

soon to be graded again

on what we had finally gained

thirty two, will i finally claim

the yearned ignited flame

the life i’ll live bright

proud and without shame

for now, my golden age

i hope i don’t disappoint

it kills me right now 

pathing where we would be caged

time

flying through life - when will fatigue ever hit

children wished it flapped faster

youths fear the minute master

while the old - desperate to break their wings

the fourth dimension of reality

moving forward is our only flee

please hear my fears and plea

stop any further growing spree

to have a moment is charity

for a flash is familiarity 

the last turn showed childhood

and suddenly comes adulthood

next up family and disconnection

but the mind is still stuck in reflection

reminiscing those who showed affection

and those who stayed through rejection

lost so many along the way

one day let's meet again at the bay

in the breeze we'll talk about our day

just like how before we pathed away

there's so much to share

yet nothing to say

just please know that i really miss you

to all my friends