pathetic;
not because i am, but rather because i feel.
i feel a surge of emotions and its not like i can control it.
like electric currents in my body that cant find the outlet,
the emotions circles my body,
wraps around me,
and suffocates me.
rather than feeling sad, i feel scared.
the uncertain future, the impending danger.
the jealousy that people are coping well, coping better,
and the envy i have for those who rests.
the disappointment i feel, as i become a second choice,
not only to others, but especially my soul.
the bitterness i feel, as i know all are just empty words, and nobody genuinely meant any of it.
the tiredness that is in my bone,
that engulfs me anytime, even now, at this very moment.
the doubt i have for myself, or rather, the certainty that i am useless.
i'm sorry, for all.
i'm sorry i am not strong, sorry i'm so vulnerable.
i'm sorry that i feel so apologetic but never once properly apologized
i'm sorry... that...
i'm just sorry for everything. too much a coward to leave, but not tough enough to stay.
and thankyou...
