At times,
I'll like to believe,
that I'm genuinely happy,
as I laugh and shout,
just like the past me.
But soon, as they dispersed,
I'll start thinking.
As the day turns to night,
and my mind floods with everything,
the grin turns 180 degree.
I ask myself why,
why are you crying.
But even so,
I couldn't reply.
For it's not something,
but everything.
As I lay weeping,
thinking of all the things
I wanted to say and ask you,
all the things I could never admit,
and the delusional me,
I start to fear happiness,
and longed for sleep.
Not solely because I was tired physically and emotionally,
But more so,
for serenity.
