I can never show this darker side of me verbally, or in person.
It just doesn't work out, and I can never bear to show this side of me.
Occasionally, as I zone off or when my brain runs off to have some quiet time, these scary dark thoughts invade me.
I think about how fake people are, I think about how scary politics are in my class. I think of how judgmental people are, and then, I think of how am I going to survive.
The world, is colorful. It bursts with life, and brightness. Yet you can't deny that darkness is everywhere. It is exactly this darkness that emphasizes the color. Probably it's just me, who sees these inner darkness, much more than what others see. This really suffocates me, because there's nobody to share with. I can't possibly infest other people's color with my own darkness, yet it is just too much for me to handle alone.
I am tired, really really tired. I admit, I am weak. I am not the optimist I paint myself to be, and I myself don't even know who am I.
I haven't been able to look into my paintings, to see what exactly is in my heart. It's probably exactly so, that when these unknown voices speak within me, I get really confused, and I am unable to respond to these closest souls of mine.
