the day before

today's the day before
tomorrow

tomorrow's the day of
reveal

after that
who knows what would be in store for me

i'll be honest,
a decade ago i'll never thought i would be here
just six years ago,
i feared where i'll end up in

today,
i'm surprisingly relaxed
maybe it hasn't hit me yet
maybe i am unprepared
maybe i am done
maybe there are so much more cluttering my mind

tonight,
i just pray i would fall asleep peacefully
tomorrow,
i just pray i'll be able to give myself a pat
you did your best

i'm not even yearning for a
you did well
i'm just wishing for
no regrets

what are my expectations
they asked

honestly,
no idea.

just like a decade ago
i have no idea where i'll go

oh, how people change
but i guess some things remain

going with the flow
to the unfamiliar,
that's probably habitual

tomorrow fix our destiny
will we get closer to our star
will the constellation change
where shall this parting bring us

take a deep breath
you'll be okay

no matter what happens
you got you
i'll love you for you

honestly
'you'll do well' isn't what i need tonight
why would you comfort me with an expectation

'i'll be here'
'you did your best'

to the boy i loved

you whom i loved,
i'll say i still love

the same you i broke
the boy i left hurt

apologies over repeatedly
my heart aches inhumanely

i wouldn't blame it on either of us,
and definitely me if i had to

those bright lit eyes
warm smile, perfect hands
that once made my day glow,
they still do
only now they make me grow

grow to learn how to live without those,
when i once never thought i could spend a day without you

our goodbye hug
tangled heartbeat
how i wish i could rewind what i just said

your puzzled eyes,
cold hands
did i do something wrong babe

no it's not you it's me
that cliche line came out
to the boy i loved,
i still do love you
probably still would in the future

so when the right time comes,
i hope you'll hand me a chance again
with that warm smile,
embrace me for the last time

i promise i won't leave when that time comes

wrong time

now, as the beat drops
i'm not really sure what to say
thankyou
sorry
i love you

i guess that's that
typing this as i'm listening to youtube
the mood's not really matching
song that's playing now : she's a baby

probably not what i am to you soon
well, can't blame you
i'll blame myself, if anything

oh, the song changed, something more moody now
sorry,
i can't reason out with myself just yet,
why i've been wanting to leave
but i guess i'll take this new journey to find out why

you're perfect,
the person i'll never want to leave in theory
but something's calling me back
something's telling me to take the leap

if we're meant to be, we will be
i'm still sorry, and sorry
i think i don't really deserve to be acting all heartbroken
but hey, who knew the breaker would break too

i guess it;s something i'll have to learn
independence, loneliness, fear
all these, better than hurting you,
and wasting your time now

i guess this is the perfect example of the perfect person but wrong time
i'll blame it on fate,
and time
but really,
it's so much of a blessing i wouldn't mind doing it again

i don't regret,
that's for sure
i'm thankful, and i just hope i left a beautiful memory in you too

i really don't get why
we would have to part ways and go back to being strangers.
would be great if we remained soul mates,
for you are such a precious gem i'll never want to lose

but for now,
i realize i'm more in love with the memories than you
i realize it's the time of self finding, of doing things i believe are more important
and i do earnestly pray that you'll still be the right person when the right time comes