.

Hey there.
Let me tell you a secret.
I ain't that joyous as I portray myself to be.
I draw myself with rainbows,
 but if you stand close enough, you'll see those scratches.

I ain't perfect, ain't pretty.
So if you decide to get close to me,
Don't expect anything.
I can't shower you with positivity,
But I never said I wouldn't try.

I hope you'll embrace me,
For all my flaws and weaknesses.

If not, please don't come near me.

Hello

Hello.
Need some reminder again?

I'm always here,
Just so you wouldn't forget.

How's life?
Terrible again?

People blaming you for everything,
and making you feel bad.

Them leaving you,
making you feel abandoned again.

Are you tired?
Tired of running this never ending race.

The race against yesterday,
jumping over hurdles just so you'll reach the sky.

But there really seems to be no end.
And here I am,
really suffocated and dead.

What do you want from me?
What am I supposed to do?
Why are you leaving me?
I ask,
once again.

again

I've tried,
tried keeping myself busy.

I've tried,
even tried privating it.

But those numbers,
they lure me back,
back to check if you missed me.

Does your clock turn anti-clockwise?
Or are you really that heartless,
to ignore me.

Now what's scary isn't that skytick,
but rather,
those numbers that prove
you don't want me.

Sorry

Hey there,
Its me.

Bet you're already tired,
Of all the bullshit I've dragged you in.

How glad could you be,
When you saw I wasn't free.

Freedom, it'll soon be back to we.
I'll leave,
Slowly but surely.

Just give me a little bit more time,
And you'll be finally free,
From me.

bliss

They asked me
are you fine.
I said yes.

They asked me
what's wrong.
I said nothing.

Then I wonder,
why do I exist.

It ain't that complicated,
I just need love.
I'm not unreasonable,
I'm just petrified.

When you held me,
when you leaned,
I felt at bliss.

But soon,
I wouldn't feel at ease.
What if,
what if.

I hope you'll understand,
even just a tiny bit.
And one day,
maybe you'll comfort me
as you hold me in your arms,
'I'm here, I'll always be.'

why

At times,
I'll like to believe,
that I'm genuinely happy,
as I laugh and shout,
just like the past me.

But soon, as they dispersed,
I'll start thinking.
As the day turns to night,
and my mind floods with everything,
the grin turns 180 degree.

I ask myself why,
why are you crying.
But even so,
I couldn't reply.
For it's not something,
but everything.

As I lay weeping,
thinking of all the things
I wanted to say and ask you,
all the things I could never admit,
and the delusional me,

I start to fear happiness,
and longed for sleep.
Not solely because I was tired physically and emotionally,
But more so,
for serenity.

I'll tell you

What if I told you,
that you aren't in love.

What if I told you,
that you had no chance.

What if I told you,
that you aren't getting happier,
but just got better at hiding sadness.

What if I told you,
that no matter how much you gave him,
you'll still be an option.

Then again,
What if I reminded you,
that you were just in love,
not with him,
but with the idea of being in love.

So I'll tell you again,
and again,
till you are sober from this trap.
that
the person who hurts you,
is the one who swore they never would.

And you're pretty funny,
because for that split second,
you actually thought
you had a chance.

i love you

it's okay. We are all battling.

You'll miss,
miss those carefree days,
happy times where trouble didn't exist.

You'll miss,
miss staying gold,
heckcare them feelings.

You'll wish,
Wish it never started,
Wish you never had to hurt them, and weep.

Probably,
You'll even want to stop.
End school, end work, end everything

But you know,
you'll grow, you'll survive,
As long as you pull through this.

So stay strong everybody,
We are all battling in this.

hollow

After all that thinking, no
no, don't go,
don't leave me.

Though it'll ache when you talk about her,
though it'll hurt when I see you with her,
though I know why you couldn't meet me,
it's all because of her,
no, don't go, don't leave.

I'll enjoy that temporary bliss,
pretend I don't know anything

I'll be delusional,
thinking I'm that special one and only

I'll hurt myself slowly,
kill myself over this invisible toxic,
but
no, don't go, don't leave.

It'll ruin me when I know I'm attended to the last,
It'll collapse when I wait for your reply,
but I would do it.

Just don't go, don't leave.
I can't bear to be emotionally
empty,

weep

Stop going all crazy,
when you are not even his.

Stop going all jealous,
when you are just in the side list

It ain't worth it,
for someone like him
yes I know it

But how much I ached when he said he would leave
that
made me rethink

I hesitated,
didn't want to get hurt.

but
my heart, it's taken,
by you
I can't be with

All I want is,
for you to make a choice.
Me, or no me,
Stop letting me hang around,
like that old gum tree

Don't be selfish,
just let me be.
Don't comfort me,
I won't bleed

Heartache just makes me weep.

mystery

He's a mystery, someone I never thought I'll want to be with.
He's a different person, depending on when you see him.
He makes you feel like a princess, his one and only.
That's sadly before you see how he treats his other cuties.
And then you'll realize,
you were merely just another one he's playing with.

I'll say indecisive, that is him.
He cares, he knows, and he leans.
But god knows how many others he goes to
He's a mystery, one that I'm too tired to free.

His games makes you feel hot and cold,
makes you regret and ache.
then he leaves you wondering why even,
when you are nothing to him.

I don't have all day to play,
I don't have all day to spend.
I don't have all day to go crazy.

So stop.
Stop infesting my mind, stop burning my soul.
Just go if you never wanted me, not even a little wee

I'll cry, I'll wail, I'll ache
But all that's better than getting torn unknowingly

-

'Please don't come closer.. unless you plan to stay.'