if i could

aren't we always afraid
aren't we always wondering,
always wary of the unknown.

are we ever willing to sacrifice,
to take the first step in moving forward?
yet again, what if we fail?
what if...

if i could turn back time,
would i have done anything differently?
would i have taken more risk?
would i have changed anything?

if i could go to the future,
would i tamper with anything?
would i be disappointed in the human typing furiously now?

if i could read peoples' mind,
would i have changed my actions?
would i be more careful, or would it bring me more sorrow?

if i could look past people,
look into their ruins,
look at them searching for meaning,
then i'll probably realise that we aren't very much different.

up high, god knows.
as i weep in the dark, round the corner, someone is blankly listening to sad songs
someone is also typing furiously into a blank space
someone is too, hoping one day her voices would be heard.
and even though she denies, she would gladly appreciate any empathy that comes with it.

i think, it really does take courage to accept condolences,
to have someone else pat your shoulders, telling you that you are doing well.
to have that someone is something, but to accept that angel is another.

as time past by,
are we closer to our dreams, or do we just see it more clearly?
- see the fantasy we've created for ourselves,
see how far we actually are from those canvas we painted on.

tell me, how many have actually attained their dreams?
then tell me again,
how many have actually given up midway to their dream?
don't scoff at them, im sure they tried,
but oh how much they struggled,
and their visions faltered
leaving behind what we call,
regret.

hate

i never thought i had the best
till i look back now
and regret not once cherishing it

would that be what i'll tell myself
a little further down the road,
or would i finally learn from my lesson
and embrace all the little demons

i hate it now
i hate it to the core

mom

oh, how time flies
where have you been all these while

a minute ago you were there
in a blink of an eye you're here
won't you be gone...soon?

i haven't had the chance to look at you properly
a glance to the right,
oh how much you've aged
have i ever done anything right?

all that you've done for me
was it all worth it
did i do you proud
your silent nights,
your weakened voice

who have you forgotten?
humans they drown in coffee
you probably drown in fatigue

how costly are feelings?
oh how priceless that would be for me
yet i've been treating yours
just like how i treat the sun

carousel

in this lonely city

there’s only you darling

round and round,

on the carousel

where’s the end, it’s probably never here.

are we close?

been long, my rose

buried in my heart,

untouched,cold.

still remember me, my foe

an innate feeling, never once gone.

im frustrated 

like messiness in my heart

like tangled knots of art

Looking back, I see the kid

That same kid mocking me

‘bet you thought I was kidding’

black demon

the night falls

we’re back to bawl

it gets lonely

the quietness howls 

It rings in my ears

It feeds the emptiness

it’s another day 

one more that we fear

hollow, followed by sleeplessness

now we’re back to fight the black demon